I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
