Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Found your dick twin last night
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
