grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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