R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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