you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
