giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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