just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
