I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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