I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
