He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
