Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
