I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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