He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
