I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
