Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
