I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
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I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
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And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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