Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
