so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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