Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
