I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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