There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
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Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize