Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
