Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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