are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
