Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
