i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
What a dumb baby whore.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
