woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
