You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
