we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Houston, we have a squirter
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
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Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You don't make any sense
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