Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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