I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
