I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Boobs speak an international language.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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