i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
