my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
