Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
