Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize