so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
