the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
