TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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