I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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