You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
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