Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
