she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
