at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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