I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
