areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Walk of Shame today included voting.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
