She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
