:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
