i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
