I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
So squirting runs in the family.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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