she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
