How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Randomize
