I want to stick my p in your. b.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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