You don't have asthma, your pregnant
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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