grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
