o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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