i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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