So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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