Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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