you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
