yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize