we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
