So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
