I'm drive I can fine osifer
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
