the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
