Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
