you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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